Recent studies have linked global warming to increased humidity. Increased humidity is good for the skin. Therefore as the globe gets warmer, everyone’s skin will look better.
Global warming ain’t all bad. Maybe GWB is looking out for everyone’s complexion when he is resisting doing anything about global warming.
Craigslist Ad
A friend forwarded this to me.
THE AD
What am I doing wrong?
THE AD
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
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THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Oh, the…
I’ll grant you the photoshopping isn’t the best but…
Bittsa Maniac
This guy was found to be sane by “[e]xperts at the Russia’s main psychiatric clinic…”
Later in the article he is quoted as saying – “For me, a life without murder is like a life without food for you.”
Maybe he is trying to sound nuts so he gets off on an insanity plea. But even if that is the case, how can anyone who kills people for no reason be considered sane?
Remembering when you could remember
Found some footage of a couple old pieces. My favorite one, Zamboni, came from an exercise I did during the first workshop I did with Mary Overlie. Workshop was in Montana. Boulder I think the town was called. Tiny place. Maybe 300 of paved road. The only intersection had just a stop sign. The other piece, very similar, I thought I had lost the footage of it. But there it was. An old badly labeled Hi8 tape. Labeling is very important. What is knowledge if you don’t know here it is.
That is what everyone needs a place to store information…a know ledge! Get it? ha ha ha.
But back to memory. As I was watching “i love the smell of Napalm in the Morning” I remember remembering the some of the moments that happened in the dance. Now I can’t remember the movements anymore, but can remember when I could remember. Or do I just want to remember? The last time I watched the piece must have been 2002. I was still living in San Diego. I was staying with friends. M., S., and L. were living together, somewhere in North Park. The dancing looked decent to me then, but I remember that I had eaten a pot brownie and it was kicking in. Watching it now 5 years later the dancing looks a little clunky, but some cool moments. It would be nice to do the piece again, except this time with a lot more flowers, about 1.5 ft deep.
Honesty
Dearborn, Michigan has the highest rate of foreclosure in the US. If you actually read the article to the end you will read about Dave Ehrlichmann. He buys houses for cheap and then flips them for a profit. People who add little value to the world – lawyers, real estate agents- make a lot of money. They create nothing, just pass money around, but make a lot of money.
I remember hearing on NPR a while back that 1/3 of the price of oil is due to speculation.
“ One of the main factors receiving little attention in the current “crises” stems from how markets work, specifically how speculation affects prices. While speculation is often passed off as an economic law, there is plenty of evidence of direct manipulation.“
I would guess to that flipping houses can increase the cost of houses. Funny, Dave’s last name means
“honest man.”
Risk & Innovation
I am sure that I have railed about this before, but am currently working on a CA$H grant for TBA. How is your proposal innovative and risky? Risky for whom? for what genre? What direction is risky without violating firecodes and getting arrested? How about doing a piece involving racism and pedophilia while killing goats on stage, but do it in different theater from the audience and have them watch it via live feed. Throw some filters on and PRESTO innovation, risky. Don’t forget the dancing dwarf who speaks backwards.
Innovation/risk/cutting edge – all tired terms.
Or maybe it just speaks to my lack of imagination, that I do not know what direction is innovative and risky.
Bionic Woman
Watching TV right now. Bionic Woman to be precise. Watched an episode of Big Shots, Dirty Sexy Money and Carpool. Maybe another show can’t remember. One thing that struck me was the title of Big Shots. Similar to Shoot ‘Em up, Scary Movie 1-4. Is Bionic Woman now referencing The Matrix, when Neo tried to jump to the other skyscraper? Or is that just me frame of reference. Was the Matrix referencing something else? Funny how the evil bionic is blonde and the good one is a brunette. Betty and Veronica all over again. Who is Archie? Jughead?
But back to my point about the titles. The show Big Shots is about big shots. Scary Movie is about scary movies, Carpool is about 4 men who are a carpool. And Shoot ‘Em Up is an action flick. By using the type of movie it is to identify the movie strips of any identity, well maybe that is the wrong word, but something is lost. Identity in that the movie is not named for itself but for a whole genre. This just shows that the film is nothing but a study of that genre but not a creation using that genre as a vehicle for an idea beyond the genre. What Gone with the Wind had been called Love Story (oh, wait, there is movie called that)? How ironic, the po-moness of it all.
People just want a certain slot in their sensory perception filled; jack me in and fill it up. What was that thought? Maybe it will come back to me later.
Tom Cruise is Nuts
Tom Cruise is nuts. He is building a bunker to protect his family against Xenu. Weird, yes, but any different than red heifers and the apocalypse? Or circumcision and Kolob? or transubstantiation (which if you think about it is cannibalism)? Why do we consider Tom Cruise a whack job (or am I the only one?) for worrying about an evil cosmic ruler bent on revenge but think its sane to go to a big stone building and pretend to eat and drink the blood of someone who died but then came back to life?
Jack Handey’s Evil Twin
Whenever I am leaving a bookstore or an elevator and someone else is walking in, I like to fart. This way the person who walked by me can have a little experience of me and meet me even if they don’t know that they just met me.